Be forewarned that this rant has nothing to do with photography. It’s something that has been bothering me for years and it has to do with the movie industry. Not every movie involving a newborn does this, but growing up with my mother who is an OB Nurse led me to be critical of the film industry’s accuracy in portraying infants “freshly born”.
To be specific: According to the film industry, a women’s vagina is a garage.

Example scene: A woman is on her back, legs up, screaming sweating and yelling while someone can be heard in the background calling for warm water and rags and suddenly without any warning a child is pops out and they hold the infant up for the mother audience to see.
Having a mother experienced with newborn infants meant hearing her scoff during such scenes and inform us that the mother in this movie must have given birth two months later than expected for how huge the child is.

Left in my wake, destruction.

Many movie makers are wising up to this and doing a better job casting naturally small babies or even better, using animatronic stunt babies. Think about it, all they have to do is have their mouths open and twitch their arms. The problem is these robo-babies are not likely to be cheap so it may not be an option for every film’s budget….
So I propose yet another idea: Baby Suppliers International.
All over the world, parents can register their expectancy dates and the expected physical characteristics of their infant (Caucasian, brown hair, six fingers on right hand, etc). Then if a production in that general area needs a newborn baby, someone can look in the database, select the appropriate family and schedule the shoot around their due date.
Baby is born, mom gives it a kiss, casting director bursts in and snatches baby, lights, camera, action, cut, print, beautiful. (oh and return the baby…)

 I’ll make millions.